


Monster

by GallifreyGryffindorGirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Ill try not to be graphic about abuse, Killing, Murder, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Tension, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 12:03:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5455838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyGryffindorGirl/pseuds/GallifreyGryffindorGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mia Callaghan has a bleak outlook on life, and a past she refuses to discuss. </p>
<p>When she breaks her leg helping Dean Winchester and he makes her spend her recuperation at Bobby's she gets wrapped up in the Winchesters business intent to stop the looming apocalypse. </p>
<p>She also meets their angel, Castiel. She doesn't want to be his friend, but he specifically needs her help and she gets stuck in his company for a while - what else could happen besides friendship? But why does this damn angel make her want to spill all her sins and reject the monster lurking inside her? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>(Future chapters of this story may contain references to child abuse, I will limit this as much as possible because no one likes that)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**PROLOUGE**

 

Everyone has the capacity to be a monster. Circumstance. Complicated or simple events in life can create the monster… some people just handle the darkness better than other’s.

When she lay on her belly that day she knew she was giving in to the monster – she didn’t care. There was a thing about being a monster, it could go three ways. It could have become self-inflicting. It could have gone on to harm others. This kind of monster was going to bite the one who made it that way.

Dissociation helped. It had been learned after months and months and now as she waited under the cover of foliage outside. It kept her from noticing how badly it was raining, the muddle of mud in which she lay soaking through her cheap cotton clothing to her skin underneath. She couldn’t feel the bugs crawling across her skin or the starving hunger in her belly clawing at her insides or how badly she needed to go to the bathroom or the way her eyelids where becoming heavy after days and days with only a few hours of sleep, too afraid to close her eyes.

The rifle in her grip was the only thing that kept her grounded.

She had hours to wait. Enough time for her to argue with the monster. _Was this the only way? Was she completely sure she could do this? Was she sure she would not get caught?_

In the end the answers didn’t matter, because the monster growled back: ‘ _for them_.’

She readjusted herself on the cold wet ground, ready. Because the monster was right. This wasn’t for herself. It was for them, and she’d never stop protecting them.

When it was over she cleaned up and made sure there was no evidence. She returned to them. They had no idea what she had done for them, and they never would. Later when she was alone the dissociation would end and it would hit her what she had done, the monster no longer around to protect her. She would be afraid, and angry, but furthermost she would ask herself a question:

Could she do it because she was strong? Or did she give in to the monster because she was weak?


	2. Chapter One

**CHAPTER ONE**

 

“I am _not_ your freaking maid!”

“You broke my leg Dean the least you can do is get me a cold beer.”

Dean opened and closed his mouth trying to think of a good retort before failing, pushing off the wall where he was leaning and headed into Bobby’s kitchen to get her a beer, grumbling all the while. Sam and Bobby who’d watched the entire exchange smirked.

The woman, a good hunter friend of theirs they’d known for a while, was Mia Callaghan. She grinned triumphantly as Dean returned with a cold beer and handed it to her, another in his own hand, and one of her legs elevated on the window seat in a hard plaster cast. She knew it was bad of her to manipulate Dean that way, she knew he actually felt pretty guilty about her current predicament because he’d gotten her into the mess. It was a few weeks ago when he’d been hunting without Sam after the apocalypse. He’d found a good bunch of demons up to no good and called in Mia for back up, knowing she was more than happy to help. Unfortunately, the demons had more numbers and one thing led to another and Mia was slammed against numerous walls defending Dean which resulted in several injuries including the broken leg.

She’d been holed up with Bobby, still getting used to his wheel chair, ever since. The role of Research assistant however was getting on her nerves. She wasn’t exactly against it, but she’d never been forced to stay in one place for so long since… well. Growing up in her conditions it was move of get caught, and that kind of stuck through her adulthood.

“Thanks pretty boy” Mia cocked an eyebrow at Dean, taking a swig of the beer. He just rolled his eyes, more than used to the nicknames she threw around in a tone of sarcasm made thicker by her Irish accent.

“Sure thing peg leg.”

Before Mia could retort a funny sound entered the room, and a breeze made her red hair shift like the papers on Bobby’s desk.

“Dean” a deep voice said, and Mia raised her eyebrows at their completely calm reaction to the man in the trench coat who just appeared behind them. She discreetly reached for the hunting knife she kept near her broken leg (because even if she was immobile, she wasn’t going to be unarmed).

Sam noticed however and shook his head, giving her a reassuring smile.

“Oh, hey Cas” Dean said to the newcomer.

Sam’s phone buzzed and he began trying to pull it out of his pocket.

“I require some assistance.”

“With what?” Dean raised an eyebrow “what could an angel possibly need from us?”

Mia felt her eyes widen – this was the angel Bobby told her about? He wasn’t what she’d imagined at all. He was… cute.

“A book” replied Cas “It may help my search for God, and I believe I have seen it among Bobby’s other books.”

“And I thought you were going to be vague about this…” Dean mumbled, glancing at Bobby. The older man however was doing research for another hunter’s mysterious monster.

“Uh Dean?” Sam had finally read his text and his voice was serious “Chuck wants to see us. We gotta go.”

Dean’s expression went serious and his eye’s settled on Mia. “Alright, we’ve gotta go. Cas, why don’t you ask Mia to help find whatever book this is?”

Castiel hadn’t noticed the female sitting in the window. Now that he did, he took in her details. She was small, and slim. Most of the flesh he could see was lean with muscle. Her ginger hair fell just past her shoulders, curling at the ends, and her wide silver eyes tracked his movements. He thought he could see a lurking darkness in those eyes…

“So this is your angel?” she asked no one in particular.

“Oh, yeah” Sam started, realizing they had never met “Mia this is Castiel. Cas this is a friend of ours, Mia. She’s a hunter as well.”

“Alright so we’re gonna go. Mia, you help Cas find that book and try not to fall over anymore” Dean winked.

“Right, fine” Mia rolled her eyes as the Winchesters started to leave the houses. Bobby hadn’t even looked up, but he gave a mumbling goodbye as he read through the old book in front of him. Castiel just watched as she put the hunting knife back into her cast, the hilt exposed near her knee, and using her crutches began trying to pull herself up. “Uh, okay I don’t know how this is going to work but most of the books are upstairs and – “she started.

Castiel had watched her raised herself on the broken leg and to her explain the books where upstairs, he made a quick decision and before she could finish speaking he’d gripped her elbow and flown them to the next level of the house. He kept his grip on her elbow as she swayed unsteadily from the shocking trip and was startled when she suddenly turned about and swatted at his shoulder with a startling amount of force for such a small human.

“What the hell was that?” Mia growled at him as he gave her a bewildered look with those bright blue eyes “you don’t just… just… teleport people without warning or permission!”

“Apologies” Castiel said, frowning “I was not aware you would feel so strongly about it. It will not happen again, I simply thought it would be a convenient mode of travel for you in your current predicament.”

“Yeah, well next time ask idiot” she glared “and let go of me!”

Still rather startled by her anger Castiel did as she asked and watched as she pivoted on her casted leg to the piles and piles of books behind her. After a moment he followed her example and he began looking through the piles for the book in question.

After a minute or so Mia quietly broke the silence “… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you an idiot. You just startled me with that ‘beam me up scotty’ stuff.”

Castiel frowned at her, understanding this was probably another cultural reference he didn’t know. “I don’t understand that reference” he told her in an emotionless voice “but I should have asked, so my apology remains valid.”

“I am still sorry for calling you an idiot, it was uncalled for.” Mia cleared her throat and switched the conversation topic as she reached for a book on top of a new pile “So… you’re a real life angel then?”

“Indeed.”

“So. What can angels do besides fight like warriors and fly?” she threw him a glance over her shoulder. _And be sinfully hot for an angelic being… wait, what?_ Mia scowled at her own thoughts, her head must be more seriously damaged than she thought…

Cas paused, having never been out rightly asked the question “many things.”

“Wow. Specific.”

Castiel threw her look that was slightly irritated, but Mia just felt triumphant she’d gotten an expression from him that wasn’t blank or confused. “We can heal…. I can only heal minor injuries, since I am cut off from heaven. I could heal you if you wanted.”

Mia frowned at him, and Cas was surprised by the guarded look that appeared on her features “no thanks. I’ve only got a week or so left in the cast anyway. Why are you cut off from heaven?”

“I rebelled by helping Dean.”

“Oh” they fell into silence again. She watched him, not looking at the books. He worked quickly, going through three time the amount of books than she had, and seemed content to do so with a lack of conversation. Mia on the other hand was curious about him… and frankly if she was talking to him that stupid voice in her head wasn’t telling her to check him out. But it wasn’t like she knew a lot about angels, or at least real stuff about angels. What she knew was what she had read, and she wondered how much of it was true?

She frowned as she thought about it, a specific question popping into her head. “Uh… Cas. Can I ask you something?”

“You just did, but you may ask more” he replied – she wondered if he knew he made a joke, but from the look of through concentration on his face as he inspected a red leather bound volume in his hands she was thinking not.

“Uh, is it true that idea that angels can tell all a person’s sins with just a look?”

Cas looked up at her, a furrowing his brow “not from a look, but travelling a person’s time line is not uncommon if we wish to know all about them.”

“Oh… uh… have you done it before? To anyone?”

He stared at her, placing the book on what she assumed was the ‘rejected’ pile slowly. “You are asking if I know your sins specifically” he stated, continuing before she could reply “I do not.”

“Oh” her turn to look away and focus on the books.

“You must have done something to ask such a question” Castiel mused out loud.

“Don’t dig around my past halo-boy” Mia threw him a deadly look. “What’s there should remain there.”

“I was making no insinuation that I would delve into your past Mia” he reassured her gently, in the kind of voice you might use on a worked up child “In fact, if I was to know about your past, I would rather you told me. Because that is what friends do, is it not?”

Again Mia paused – she wasn’t getting through half as many books as he was at this rate – and stared at the angel who looked right back unable to comprehend what he’d said. “You… uh…. You want to be my friend?”

Castiel cleared his throat, looked embarrassed, and turned away “I do not have many friends anymore, besides Dean, Sam and Bobby. I would like more, and you appear to be very nice Mia…”

“- you’ve only just met me” she cut across him in a dull tone, a groan in her voice as she looked away from him too, clenching her fists so hard she dug her nails into her flesh “if you could ask Dean he would tell you, I’m a bitch. I’m _not_ nice, Castiel, I’m _not_ kind. I’m certainly _not_ the kind of person an _angel of the freaking lord_ should be _friends_ with. You can do better than that…”

There was silence, in which she check through two more books before Cas made her stop by saying “I do not believe you.”

She looked at him again, but he wasn’t looking at her. He had another book in his hand and was leafing through the pages with a very slight smile curling at his lips. “You will” she told him in a forceful tone. The look he gave her when he turned made her unsure if that was true.


	3. Chapter Two

**CHAPTER TWO**

 

 

“I swear your leg was just broken, how are you even doing that?” Sam stared at Mia from where he sat cross legged on the hood of a car with a wrecked front window as she finally stopped running, bending over and holding onto her knees so she could breathe.

“Habit” she panted. She wouldn’t tell him that yes her leg was hurting her and that yes she could feel the muscle pulsing because to her that was good. The pain was good. Pain was nothing less than she deserved.

“Oh yeah?” Sam asked.

“Well, back in the military we did runs like every morning. After eight years you get used to it, it even gets a bit fun” she told him as she straightened, stretching “I kind of missed it while sitting on Bobby’s couch for weeks.”

“I didn’t know you where military?” Sam asked carefully. Getting a bit of the past out of Mia was like pulling teeth from a crocodile – you didn’t know when she was going to bite.

As predicted her eyes became sharp as she looked at him warily. “Didn’t think it mattered where I learned to kill evil bastards so long as I could” she told him.

They were interrupted as Sam noticed Dean and Castiel coming from the main house. He automatically assume from their grim expressions that the angel brought bad news, and he barely noticed when Mia’s phone rang and she walked further away to answer it.

“Hey” Sam greeted when they got within ear shot “what’s up?”

“Cas needs Mia’s help” Dean said as he leaned on the car’s hood, watching Mia as she spoke quietly on the phone.

Cas watched as well, taking her in. He did, of course, know what human females looked like nude but he had never seen one. While she wasn’t nude she was quite bare. Mia was wearing a black sports bra that clashed with her pale skin, her red hair tied in a messy bun at her head, and wearing tight running pants that ended at her knees. Cas frowned, vaguely concerned about his vessels reaction to her glistening skin and his sudden desire to see more of her skin…

“-Cas?” Dean’s voice snapped him out of his staring.

“Dean?”

Dean was giving the angel a funny look, one eyebrow raised and his arms crossed over his chest. Eventually however he broke into a grin “you wanna be careful staring like that dude, and I wouldn’t go barking up that tree. Mia would chew you up and spit you right out, warrior of heaven or not.”

Cas frowned, confused, and Sam snorted “come on, she can be a bit… tough, but just because she rejected you Dean doesn’t mean she rejects _everyone_.”

“Ah, shh” Dean shushed his brother, slapping his chest, as he noticed Mia coming back towards them with a grim expression.

“Hey guys” she said, looking troubled “what’s up?”

Before Dean could say anything Cas had frowned, noting her expression “what’s wrong Mia?”

She gave him a wary look. “I just need to take off for a few days, that was one of my – uh – friends. They’re in a bit of trouble and need some help.”

“Yeah?” Dean asked “like… our kind of trouble or other kind of trouble?”

“Might be either, but I don’t they’d call unless it was our kind of trouble” she confessed “so what’re you doing here halo-boy?”

“ _He_ needs _your_ help” Dean pointed between them both.

“Well he is gonna have to wait, isn’t he?” she retorted, folding her arms. With the movement it exposed the inside of her arms a bit. Both Cas and Sam – who had seen it before – caught the glimpse or shiny, round, white scars dotting up her pale arm.

“Well that depends, what’s more important your friend or stopping me and Sam getting our bones jumped by angels and having a full out war on earth?”

Mia sent Dean a death glare “priorities Dean. My friends matter just as much.”

“Well- “Sam, the voice of reason, interrupted “-why don’t we help you out, then hopefully we can finish up sooner and you can help Cas?”

“I don’t think- “

“- brilliant Idea Sammy.”

“- but I – “

“- Mia c’mon. three seasoned hunters and an angel can get the job done much faster than one hunter” Sam tried to soothe her.

“Well yeah, but I’d rather – “

“-look we need your help Mia. Well, Cas needs your help, but he’s trying to help us so same thing” Dean rambled “so let us help you.”

She grimly thought it over, finding no way to get out of it when the three of them where insistent (she’d only know Castiel a week and a half, but he’d made himself such a presence in her life she knew he would let up). “Alright, fine… but just… don’t go digging around and stuff alright?”

“What do you mean digging around?” Dean asked as they all frowned.

“You’ll see.”

**XXX**

It took almost an entire day to get to Nevada, and where Mia had grown up. And that was without stopping for breaks, only swapping drivers between her, Dean and Sam so the others could sleep. Most of the ride had been in silence, except for when Dean and Mia where the drivers. Then both would play music, muttering along with the lyrics. Cas found this an interesting human habit to observe, and admitted the music – different from what he heard in heaven – was interesting.

Mia was driving them they arrived so she didn’t worry about giving directions, but all the same she was aware of what the boys must be thinking as she drove into town… past the shops and the houses and into the warehouse district. She found herself with sweaty palms and a heavy heart as she drove the Impala home, worried about taking her newfound friends to the place where she had grown up. In her opinion it’d give them far too much insight to her past, more than she was comfortable with… but if it was to help out her family then she’d do it. And thankfully the boys said nothing, even when she pulled up in front of a clearly abandoned warehouse, half of it looking like it had been demolished when in fact that half of the structure had merely collapsed some years ago during a particularly windy thunderstorm. It’d never been structurally sound, which was why it was abandoned. Honestly it was the perfect place.

Mia parked the Impala, knowing none of the local kids would dare touch it, and the boys followed her example and got out of the car, looking around with interest.

“So… where exactly are we going?” Dean asked, following when Mia began walking away.

“Just in here” she pointed to the half collapsed building, searching for the entrance.

“Uh… the place looked derelict” Sam commented.

“It is. Mostly. I think they used to make trains here or something before it was abandoned- aha!” Mia found the old hole in the brick wall, covered with a pained piece of plywood. Probably looked pretty unsecure from the inside, but in years no one had seen the gap from the outside. She slipped inside and waiting for the boys on the other side.

Cas and Dean slipped through the gap with little problems, brushing brick dust off their clothing, but Sam had to bend quite far to fit since he was so tall. Mia might’ve smiled, but she was anxious and keen to move on.

“Now where?” Dean asked, looking around what could be seen of the warehouse.

It looked… oddly homey. From the inside you couldn’t see the part of the building that had collapsed, leaving a large open space that had been covered with a varying array of rugs and couches, some with springs exposed and other’s covered with scrappy patches of fabric. There was a TV set up, a very old model, and an old train covered in dust, graffiti and denting in places was sitting in a bay obviously abandoned.

Mia walked to the centre of the room, wiping her finger along the TV screen and tutting at the thick dust on her finger. Dean and Sam began roaming the room too, following her lead and more than curious, but Castiel remained where he was just observing. A celestial being such as himself didn’t need to move to see everything they did…

“Brittany!” Mia startled them all by yelling in a tone that contain a surprisingly amount of authority.

There was the sound of scratching, like an animal trying to open a wooden door, before a young voice yelled back “Mia!” and six kids and appeared out of the abandoned train. They didn’t even seem to notice Dean, Sam or Cas as they made a bee line for Mia and the boys could only exchange surprised glances at the grin on her face as she allowed the group to hug her when they knew if anyone else tried Mia was most likely to shoot them.

“Uh, Mia?” Dean cleared his throat after a few minutes.

His interruption immediately caught the attention of the six kids, all of whom turned to the three strange grown men with looks of surprise – looks that immediately turned into suspicious ones full of attitude. The transition happened so quickly Dean had to look at Sam, just to check he’d seen the change too.

“Mia who’re these guys?” the oldest kid, around thirteen they’d guess, with short blonde hair folded her arms over her chest and eyes them up “are they more social workers?”

“Yeah right Brittany, because they _look_ like social workers” Mia rolled her eyes.

“That one does” a brunette girl, probably a bit younger than the first, pointed at Castiel who frowned but said nothing.

“Yeah okay Steph, he does” Mia admitted with a nod “but they’re not. Alright, this is Sam his brother Dean and their friend Castiel. Guys, this is my family. The mouthy one is Brittany, if you want any sense go talk to Stephanie, and the boys are Joe, Liam, Tony and… hey, your new…” Mia smiled at a boy of around eight who looked a bit wary.

“Oh that’s Tom” Stephanie informed her, swishing her brunette hair over her shoulder “he got placed with the MacDonald’s like Joe.”

Mia frowned, she knew the MacDonald’s weren’t as nice a family as they let the outside world think they were.

“Uh, Mia…” Dean got her attention “can we talk to you a second? Without all the mini-me’s?”

He took Mia back to where Cas hadn’t moved by the entrance. Sam stayed where he was and was promptly pulled into conversation by Joe and Liam who she overheard asking Sam why he was so tall.

“Okay so what’s going on?” Dean asked in a whisper.

“What do you mean?”

“You said there was a family problem, this looks like a big fricking problem.”

“What’re you talking about Dean?” Mia folded her arms, her jaw twitching.

“What’re all these kids doing here?”

“This is our home Dean… or more like our home away from home” she explained, realizing he had thought all these kids to be truly homeless “look… sometimes it’s safer for foster kids to stay away from their foster families, at least for a bit. So this is where we go. They don’t really, y’know, _live_ here…”

“-except for Freddie” Brittany appeared at Mia’s elbow “but he doesn’t really count as a kid since he’s a bit younger than Mia.”

“This was supposed to be a grown-up’s conversation” Dean raised an eyebrow at the teenager.

“Then why are _you_ here?” she retorted.

“Brittany” Mia warned, but there was amusement in her eyes. “Look Dean I came here because Brittany and Stephanie asked for help. You can go back to Bobby’s or lord knows you’ve probably got bigger problems but- “

“-don’t be stupid, we’re staying” Dean gave her a look, and in his head thought he saw a trace of disappointment flicker across her eyes. Like she had wanted him to take off. “Now c’mon. Let’s figure out what’s going on around here, yeah?”

****

Before night really fell the kids began to clear out of the warehouse. A couple of them had been keen to stay the night, but Mia asked if they had spent the previous few nights and since most of them had she insisted they had to spend at least that night at their foster homes despite looking grim about it. She also told the children that staying in their foster homes would be a lot safer since the kids who had gone missing and vanished while they were staying the night in the warehouse… if anyone was going to stay there the night it was going to be her… and Dean, Sam and Cas.

They offered to give the kids a ride to their hopes but where turned down, so the adults and the angel all remained in the warehouse as Mia fixed up the battered TV. However, it refused to work until Cas, who’d been watching her struggle with his head tilted, banged his fist on the top and the picture suddenly appeared on screen. They weren’t sure if that was angel mojo at work or luck.

“So…” Sam sat beside Mia on one of the less battered couches “where you ever going to tell us about growing up on the streets?”

“Nope” she didn’t look at him and was keenly aware of Cas standing near the arm of the couch beside her. Dean didn’t appear to be listening, having retrieved beers from the Impala and found something on the TV but his position was too tense and still for him to be focused on the TV.

“Why?”

“Don’t wanna talk about it Sam.”

“Those kids really look up to you- “

“-Sam- “

“-Stephanie said you were the first to come here and make it home- “

“- I said I didn’t want to talk about it Sam!” Mia jumped up with a shouting growl that made the Winchesters jump.

Dean looked at her, a confused expression and slowly said “alright, we won’t talk about it. Let’s talk about something else… like these missing kids.”

Mia felt her heart ache then. One of the missing was Freddie, who she’d known nearly her whole life and was only three years younger than herself. Unlike her however he’d not been able to cope as well, was refused entry into the military unlike her, and had only managed to procure small jobs where all his earnings went to helping the kids who lived in the warehouse with him. He’d been the first missing, but the kids just thought he’d found a job for a few days. When two more went missing – ten-year-old Owen and fourteen-year-old Alex – they figured something was up and called Mia.

“Alright” Mia greed with Dean, but switched seating so she was on the other couch. Castiel followed and sat beside her, casting her looks now and then that she didn’t notice. She pulled something out of her pocket “Brittany said they found this the day after the kids where taken- “she handed the small bag of matted greying hair to Dean.

Dean looked at it, then passed it to Sam who inspected it. “Not a werewolf, they don’t grow fur. Shapeshifter… a hairy one?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of child-specific bogeyman.”

The Winchesters frowned, Dean finally asking “A Rawhead?”

“Rawhead?” Castiel spoke – it was the first time he said anything since Dean warned him not to say anything that would clue the kids into the fact he wasn’t human.

“It’s like a bogeyman” Mia explained to the angel “a monster that takes naughty children and eats them. They have a lot of different names. Rawhead and Bloody Bones and Tommy Rawhead are others.”

“But is your friend Freddie not a few years younger than yourself? If Rawhead are supposed to take children, why would they take him?” the angel pointed out.

“Trust me, Freddie still _acts_ like a child” Mia said, her tone annoyed but expression affectionate “maybe the Rawhead isn’t that picky.”

“Alright, say it’s a Rawhead. Where would it den? Mia you know the area. Somewhere dark and damp where it has easy access to the warehouse.”

Mia thought about it. “There’s a grate over there” she pointed to the dark corner where a bit of rubble from the collapsed half of the building and settled “one of the bars broke off long before we got here, I suppose you could fit through. We’ve never been down there, it leads to the storm drains and no one wants to get caught down there in a flash flood. That’s be a perfect place for a Rawhead.”

“Like serving it dinner, lunch and breakfast in bed” Dean agreed darkly “alright. Rawhead. We’re gonna need Tasers- “

“-try not to stand in a puddle of water again Dean- “Sam winced at the painful memory.

“-yeah, that.” Dean agreed, remembering the pain of the heart attack all too well as he stood to go and collect what they would need. “Silver in case of something else…” he walked off muttering, Sam following, leaving Mia and Cas alone.

She was aware of him staring at her.

She tried to ignore it, but eventually she turned to meet his unreadable gaze. “What?” she snapped.

“I do not understand something, and was wondering if you would explain to me?”

“What?” it came out more confused this time as she stared at the innocent angel’s expression.

“Why would the children who have homes wish to spend their days or nights in an abandoned building with little warmth and food when they have home and families to go to?”

Mia frowned. Shouldn’t an angel know all about the evil that lurks in the world? “because… because sometimes it’s safer here than it is in any house or family Cas…. Sometimes humans can be monsters just as much as any Rawhead, Shapeshifter or Demon can.”

He considered her, tilting his head “is that why you lived here?”

Mia’s eyes sharpened and she looked away from him “I’m not talking about it Castiel, my past is _private_.”

“Forgive me, I just wish to understand you better.” Something in his tone, maybe the sincerity, made Mia look back at him and saw his open expression instead of the usual blank one “I am not good with human emotions, they confuse me, but I find yours to be particularly puzzling. They change so quickly, and while your body language and tone says one thing I sense another confliction emotion within you… I am never sure which one to trust, and I do not wish to offend you which makes it far more difficult.”

Mia gaped at him for a second after this confession, and his randomly frequent visits over the last week and a half since they met suddenly made sense. He’d just talk to her, usually about something that confused him, but his long pauses would make the conversations fairly long. She had thought he was simply trying to comprehend her explanations (usually impatient explanations) but now she suspects it was because he had been confused by her hostility when – if what he said was true – he could sense that a little part of her, one she kept hidden deep down, was pretty pleased the angel came just to ask her about a trivial thing that confused him.

“I- “she faltered trying to think of something to say, her body tense. “I, uh…” Mia sighed, forcing herself to relax with the exhale “- you don’t need to worry about offending me Castiel. I- uh- I already know I’m a pain in the ass and a prickly bitch.”

“I do not see you that way” he frowned, irritated she referred to herself with such names.

“Yeah?” she raised an eyebrow.

“No you are…” he titled his head, thinking “a puzzle. An interesting puzzle, like all humans, but unlike the others I am… I am keen to solve, to understand, you.”

Mia gaped at him “…oh” was all she could say as she looked away again, trying to squash the bubble of happiness that anyone cared that much to try and understand her. Sure she figured people – like Dean, Sam and Bobby- they put up with her… but understanding her…

She felt an inkling on affection for the blue eyed angel beside her and shut her eyes, refusing to truly acknowledge it. She didn’t need that kind of trouble, of all things.


End file.
